What your husband really wants (in his Daddy-DNA)
In the 1950’s, your husband would have made a great living. He’d have enough cash flooding in even as a teacher or tradesman to support the whole family.
Comfortable in a middle class home, with 10 days’ vacation on the beach in Florida and a growing nest-egg, the monthly credit card balance was all of zilch. Briefcase in hand, he waltzed into your open arms with his five o’ clock shadow, leaning in for a soft kiss before tackling the swarming kids on the nylon carpet.
And you, your endless charm and million-dollar-smile, had the freedom to be home, patching up scraped knees, fixing lunches and Jell-O molds while keeping order in the universe, enough twinkle left in your eye to stop traffic on Sundays.
His job paid every expense, right down to the old tire swing in the yard, a quiet sense of security around all of it. You fought sometimes, but not about money.
Today, not so much.
One paycheck barely covers the mortgage, and you’re working full-time too to cover the groceries, utilities, childcare, and school supplies. The balance on the Visa compounds at 23%, and the cell phone bills alone are suffocating.
This sucks for your husband.
Of course he supports women in the workforce, and all your career aspirations, but not because he needs them to cover the car payments.
Your husband wants to be a provider.
He wants you to have the option to be a stay-at-home-mom whenever and for as long as you want. It’s in his Daddy-DNA. He doesn’t talk about it, because it seems out of reach, and maybe a bit silly. But it gnaws at him.
And it’s not his fault that he can’t give it to you.
Wages are down, and the cost of living is up. Something subtle happened that turned everything upside down.
A close relationship existed between wages (paychecks) and innovation, capital investment, and technical know-how, compounding in society through time. Like a magic dividend, it was shared by all working families.
As productivity increased, wages for the working man grew in tandem, an increase in the standard of living shared by all.
This “coupling” is how your husband could provide so much in 1950 compared to 1850, without working any harder (machines were covering the difference).
The magic ended when the disco started in 1971. Wages and productivity “decoupled”, like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Here’s the chart-
Productivity didn’t stop growing. Today, your husband is more productive than ever. It was only his paycheck that stopped growing. Angelina Jolie now describes it as an abusive drunk to their adopted children.
Wives and mothers like you had to join the workforce just to make up the difference. And what a boost to GDP, now that you can work half of your week to pay another woman to take care of the children?
The Red Pill
The gruesome truth is that productivity gains are now siphoned off the top in a giant skimming operation by banks, the government, and the super rich.
I know — click/close — this sounds like bad conspiracy theory. But I’m not suggesting that most of them even understand it.
Some may pull the strings knowingly, others look the other way, and still more just don’t get the mechanics. They assume your husband doesn’t work hard enough, and didn’t go to the right schools. The fault is yours.
Maybe you’re not “disciplined”, like they are.
They get behind podiums in Switzerland or Jackson Hole and explain this to each other, backslapping, while someone like you passes out crab cakes.
So what happened in 1971? Was it John Travolta’s performance as Tony Manero in Saturday Night Fever? Close, but that was 1977.
In 1971, America broke its lifelong connection to the gold standard – sound, honest money – thereby rigging the dice, destroying the social contract, and unleashing a system of rampant cronyism.
The “skimming” component is a feature of paper money, allowing those who can create it by loaning and borrowing cheaply to harvest the surplus of your husband’s daily bread, saddling many with the stranglehold of debt servitude.
This isn’t capitalism, and it’s the opposite of a free market (so don’t take the bait when charlatans and panderers come crawling for your vote).
You can’t fix it all on one Sunday in June, but you can start by getting your information from the right sources. At BadDaddy, we can help with that. It’s our passion. It’s a bitter pill, but better to be “in the know”, right?
And to be clear, that does not include either political party. Mainstream information is designed to keep you inside the matrix, feeding the sloth.
Here are a few people to read, with Father’s Day gifts for the man who wants a better shot at providing real security for his wife and children-
- Doug Casey, the great speculator. Doug pulls no punches, shooting straight and hard. Best enjoyed over a stiff drink and good cigar, few men will fail to appreciate his candor. Try his collection of essays, Totally Incorrect. Like your husband, Doug Casey is an American treasure.
- Porter Stansberry. Brash, and wildly entertaining, this guy sees the big picture. There is no better financial market education – including any Ivy League school – than just getting on the Stansberry Research email list. Try their podcast, Stansberry Investor Hour for a taste. He also created the world’s best razor, OneBlade. They’re not cheap, but make a great gift for the man who has everything. It’s like shaving your face with an AMG Mercedes. Your husband will enjoy the ritual, then tackle each day like he got shot out of a cannon. Act by 6/11, and the link should get you a free kit for the “other man” in your life (your dad I hope).
- Chris Martenson and Adam Taggart at PeakProsperity.com, exploring the massive predicament caused by a system requiring perpetual growth on a finite planet. They’re full of great ideas to improve your life and the world from the ground up, becoming self-reliant, and in tune with the natural order. Their book Prosper is a nice choice for the cerebral husband/father (especially if Casey and Stansberry are too brash for his taste).
- Richard Maybury. Another treasure, Richard’s Uncle Eric series are the best books on the planet for understanding the world geared for teens and preteens, and he writes a killer newsletter for adults called the Early Warning Report, “adapting and profiting from the collapse of the federal government’s empire”. I subscribe to a ton of material, but this I look forward to most. The strategic insights and perspective are as unique and well-reasoned as anything, anywhere. Try a sample here.
So there it is. News you can use to keep your family out of the gutter. Whatever you do, don’t blindly follow the herd.
Question authority, and stick it to the damn shepherd before he leads your family to the slaughterhouse.
Of course, you don’t have to give your husband anything for Father’s Day. He’s not in it for the fanfare. He just loves you, and your greasy kids.
So make sure they have a craft or card, put on a Summer dress, whip up an Old Fashioned or three and a special dinner. Put the kids to bed early, and remember how you got into this Father’s Day mess in the first place.
Because you just can’t keep your hands off each other. Cheers!
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Then try a related column like The Truth About Money.